It’s been almost two hours now. The tears have yet to stop.
I staggered into the office, unable to see, but knowing I had to write this down. Now. While the pain is still so exquisitely fresh. I literally just had my soul ripped from my body and hung before me.
All I did was to do a wee bit of channel surfing while the kids all took an afternoon nap. As I buzzed through the channels I caught sight of a music video – by Johnny Cash! What? And then I saw the title, “Hurt“. Wait. That’s a song by the group ‘Nine-Inch Nails’! This I had to see… or so I thought.
I remember th song a being an amazing expression of human pain. What ‘The Man in Black‘ did with it is nothing short of brilliant. He always seemed to look ‘into’ a man, rather than ‘at’ him. By the Gods, he did more with this song! With both the song and the video Johnny showed that he was well aware of his pending end while making damned sure that the viewer understands that one day you too will follow.
Cash certainly did that with me. I’m no stranger to death. Neither that of others nor the idea that my own death is even now hunting me, and slowly gaining on me. I thought I had a decent handle on that concept. Perhaps it is the fact that now, for the first time in my life, I am truly happy. Perhaps because I know that my name is moving steadily up the top page of Death’s list. Whatever the reason, “Hurt” ripped sobs from my chest that I didn’t utter at even the deaths of my father and only brother.
If you’ve not heard Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt“, buy it. If you’ve not seen the video, find it – and pay attention. Feel, and learn.
I only wish I had paid the man more attention when he was living. But isn’t that always the way of things?
~M* …please pass the tissues.
Feb. 26, 1932 ~ Sept. 12, 2003
&
June Carter Cash
June 29, 1929 ~ May 15, 2003
“Together Again, Together for Eternity”
