Interesting term, ‘Thankfulness’.
It’s odd how one’s view on the subject can change over time. How it can expand and contract over time. Mine has.
I always looked forward to Thanksgiving so much more than any of the other ’standard’ holidays. It was a time for Family. Unlike Yule/Christmas which are so commercialised now and never fails to push me deep into depression, and New Years which is totally meaningless to me, (as a Wiccan, my new year began back at Samhain/Halloween), Thanksgiving is the only time for pure family enjoyment with no real pressure. After the busy Samhain season the time of Thanksgiving was a breath of fresh air – the last until the Rites of Spring.
Yet the first two Thanksgivings of the new Millinium were days that I struggled with whether or not Life was worth continuing. My family was shattered by divorce, and my pain had reached horrid levels. The battle with my spinal issues had also began by this point.
Thanksgiving 2003 is pretty much a blur to me.
I was still very new to this town, this family, heck – this relationship. The odds were stacked miserably against me. With the exception of Beth, the general feeling towards me was extremely hostile. Maybe Erin was neutral. But even she had her doubts. I suppose I can see their side of things. Here is Beth – abandoned by her husband of eight years. Indeed, her high school sweetheart. Abandoned with a toddler daughter and new-born twin boys. Obviously she was struggling with Life. Then suddenly I was here. They had little-to-no notice that Beth was even interested in anyone new. Much less a big, bald mountain man – complete with tattoos, piercings (including facial ones), and a tendancy to carry knives openly on his belt. Disabled too. Definately not looking like anyone in which Beth would ever be interested. Then they found out that I wasn’t even a Christian, but rather a Witch – right here in Mobile, AL. Ouch! You know that had to sting a bit.
That brings us to today, Thanksgiving 2004.
If you’ve kept up with my post lately then you are aware of the recent family drama – once again, because I don’t conform, and refuse to conform, to the Alabama norm. This is a problem mainly with my father-in-law’s side. Well, much to our surprise, and extreme happiness, my father-in-law doesn’t share his families views on me. Well, not entirely. While he doesn’t like my appearance – and especially dislikes my faith – he knows that his daughter is happy and that I’m doing my level best to be a great father to his grandchildren. Strangely, despite these views of his we see eye-to-eye on most things. He and I agree to disagree on certain subjects and get along nicely.
And then there is Beth’s mom’s family. They, too, are aware of my differences. Yet rather than throw away family by rigid, dogmatic views. They chose to welcome me into the Family as Beth’s husband. Today’s family dinner with the extended family was more than good. It was a fantastic feeling of comfort and joy – a feeling of ‘Family’. That is something I have missed. I may have always enjoyed my family, but even I could not know the agony of of losing my family until it happened.
And today I was welcomed, repeat: welcomed, into this, my new Family. And very Thankful.
It’s good to be home.
Happy Thanksgiving!
~M*
