A Strange Morning Following A Stranger Evening

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 08:45:11 -0400 by Bull

As I sat down to post this morning I had the sudden urge to listen to Boy George and the Culture Club. That’s pretty damned strange, but last night was even stranger here at Omar’s Pleasure Palace & Private Zoo. Let me give you a few points to ponder…

Yesterday evening Lady Beth’s childhood friend, and all around good guy, “D” came by to cut the jungle back from its rapid advancement upon our castle. While he finished up the back yard Yours Truly took the opportunity to practice with my snake whip by using it to neatly trim a hedge or two. (Damned thing cuts the ends of hedge limbs as clean as a knife!) After a few minutes the heat and humidity made life a bit unpleasant, (not to mention my shoulder was on fire again…), so I headed back to the front door. That’s when I noticed the guy running up the street. He was being chased by two dogs, but since he was running so slow I figured they had to be his and he was just out jogging.

In this heat, though? And why would he have his face painted red? Hey, to each his own. After all, I prefer kilts and Macabi’s to pants, so who am I to judge?

Well, as he got closer it became clear that the red ‘paint’ was actually blood. He yelled for someone to call 911 and that someone was trying to kill him - and then passed out cold in my front yard. Looked to me that they might have succeeded in doing the poor bastard in! He had a four inch gash in his scalp and another one - about two inches long - over his right eye. Just then, a guy down at the corner started screaming for me to kill the dude because he was a child molester.

Child molester? In this neighborhood? Can’t be. Anyhoo, the guy at the corner hopped in a truck and drove off. I wobbled over to the front door, informed my daughter, grabbed the phone, dialed 911, snatched the first aid kit, and went back to the bloody mess of a guy in my yard. The 911 operator wanted to have a conversation, however I just wanted an ambulance and a cop. My way won out. Mainly because I hung up on her!

The dude was conscious again. I asked him his name and what had happened. I placed a compression bandage against the larger wound, then decided against too much pressure. His skull felt a bit spongy. Not a good sign! His story was that he was staying a a woman’s home down the street because her ex was giving her fits and he was there to discourage further problems. (He failed, it seems.) The woman had left with her kids so he decided to nap a while. He was literally jogged to wakefulness when a two-by-four decended upon his top knot - twice! He told me the ex-husband had done it. Then he went out again. Damned bad timing. I wanted to know more about this child molester crap. Before he regained wakefulness again the police and fire had arrived.

The cops walked down to the house in question while the injured was being treated. One of them was promptly bit by one of the dogs that was chasing the guy up the street. It was then that I just knew it was going to be a long evening.

To jump to the end, the bleeding guy wasn’t “wanted” for anything, and as far as we know wasn’t a registered sex offender. Of course, the police were not being all that forthcoming with the information they had either. As usual. However, a registered sex offender had been arrested in that house just two nights previously, though I had no clue this had occurred. (Makes you wonder about this woman’s thinking, doesn’t it? She has three kids and lets an offender enter her home. What the hell is the bitch thinking?!) The house, by the way, is a rental. Something new in our neighborhood.

As near as I can figure, the ex-husband heard about a sex offender living with his kids, came over with a 2×4, let himself in, and then cracked the wrong skull! Now he is wanted on assault & battery with intent to kill.

The moral of this story is thus:
Be it with a gun, or a 2×4, you must be sure of your target before firing - or swinging!

If he had crushed the skull of the child molester no one would have cared, but he screwed up and now his life is headed downhill for sure. Oh! The dog that bit the cop is a Blue Heeler and was taken to the pound for observation. The woman with a taste for child molesters is being evicted from the house ASAP. The neighborhood has learned a lesson as well. We will be watching much more closely and will be proactive in keeping these waste-of-flesh asswipes from entering our quiet little neighborhood in the future.

Updates on this as the info becomes available.
Omar, out.