0230 and I’m up listening to Bluegrass with a mind full of thoughts. So far tonight I’ve been able to sleep just long enough to have a nightmare. Damned things are my curse in this Life. ‘Nary a night goes by without at least one. Oh well…
My God, I do love bluegrass and old folk music! When it comes to jazz, go to New Orleans, but for real bluegrass you’ve got to go to the Carolina Mountains. Yeah, yeah. Someones gonna say Virginia or maybe West (by God) Virginia. Those folk are pretty good – for amateurs. Tennessee bluegrass is fair to middlin’. Strange thing about that blessed mountain music. I ain’t ever known anyone who could bear to stop a bluegrass tune before its natural end. Wonder why? One group that always has surprised me with their understanding of it is the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. Always loved their rendition of “Rocky Top”, (and “Battle of New Orleans”)
Those nightmares that have been such a plague have lately begun to settle down to one or two themes. They used to run the spectrum from items in my childhood, to my time in the Navy, my brother’s suicide, and more. Now they have settled down to the troubles my ex-wife kicks up, and my own early demise. I suspect that last one comes from my recently discovered heart attack. As for the Ex, I know of no cure for that one. She’s a real pill. (Check another of my post here for an example of her work.) I imagine I’ll go to my grave with that banshee’s shriek in my ears.
As you may have noticed, Dear Reader, the past haunts The Bull and literallyhas all my Life.
I’m having a bit of trouble with the fact it is the middle of November already. Just days until Thanksgiving and then we fall precipitously into that most depressing of holiday seasons, Yule. (Christmas, for my Christian Readers.) Would it surprise you to know that Pagans have as much trouble with depression during this holiday as Christians? For pretty much the same reasons, too! Even for us the season has become a commercial enterprise rather than a time for reflection and Gathering. Just yesterday I told Lady Beth that it was such a damned shame that such a major source of pain should be placed in my favorite season here in Mobile, Alabama, Winter. I’d love to see, just once, our families to Gather together in respectful remembrance of those now gone and joyful, loving gladness of those still here, and spend the day together in fellowship and song – both the Christian and the Pagan. And ‘nary a bought gift to be seen! This year I’m tempted to treat the Family to a rendition of Dar William’s classic Yule tune “The Christians and the Pagans”. I imagine I won’t do it, though. Can’t sing worth a hoot. Too many years of bellowing against tyranny, (and now terrorism), have damaged The Bull’s vocal cords beyond repair.
I do have some high hopes for the Winter! There are strong possibilities that I may be visited here in The Pasture by beloved Friends and dear Family from far away. Michelle & Julie, (Cousins on Dad’s side. Haven’t seen Julie in years!), both may make a stop on their way from Pickens, SC to Houston, TX or the other way around. Three of my most beloved friends may also stop by for a visit &/or vacation. Nancy Gail who kept me together when I really should have flown apart. She may visit if she drives, rather than flies, to visit her parents in Texas. Liz who anchors me with wisdom and who always seems to know when to call. She may come down for a bit of a vacation and bring her Great Dane, ‘LeLu’. That should be interesting! Finally, Malece, my ‘Dark Child’. No matter the situation, no matter my pain, her song and her dance makes me young again. Oh, how I do Love these women! They have all three been loyal, dependable Friends and more. Lady Beth loves them as nearly as well as I. Perhaps due to the Friendships they made, perhaps because of the Friendship they have shown me. Doesn’t matter, really. Even if only one of these actually shows up, my Winter will be made. I have a glimmer of Hope of seeing my youngest daughter, Kelli, again before long as well. Hope, though, will have to do for now.
Perhaps now I can sleep in Peace, Dear Reader.
I have the Honor to remain Your Most Humble Servant,
Bull. 
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