My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years, but less and less as time passed by until today when I read his obituary.
Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance. For Common Sense served us all so well for so many generations.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to ‘come in out of the rain‘, why ‘the early bird gets the worm‘, ‘life isn’t always fair‘, and ‘maybe it was my fault‘.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion, or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense began to lose the will to live as churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than their victims, and the military became a political pawn.
Common Sense really took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your home and the burglar can sue you for assault if you did.
Common Sense finally expired after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion;, his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
Pall bearers included: ‘I Know My Rights‘, ‘Someone Else Is To Blame‘, ‘The Government Owes Me‘ and ‘I Am A Victim‘.
Not many attended the funeral because so few realized he was gone. I you still remember him you may wish to tell someone about his passing. If not, join the majority and do Nothing.
(Thanks, Pop!)
Bull, out. 
