There are more jokes out there about Alabama than I can count. Some are funny, but most are simply insulting. There is one joke out there that is actually true…
The State of Alabama outlawed “sex toys”.
Yes, in 1998 the sale of sex toys was banned in Alabama. (That date is correct. Not ‘1898′, but actually ‘1998′. Frightening, isn’t it?) Possessing the items remains legal as does the possession of condoms and virility drugs. The purchase of sex toys for “bona fide medical or other purposes” is also allowed, although you still have to go out of state to buy them. Frankly, The Bull would love to hear the explanation of a silicone penis’s “bona fide medical purpose”… 
Lawsuits against this stupidity went all the way to the U.S. 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta. The lower courts had all thrown out the idiocy as un-Constitutional. However, the robed felons figures in Atlanta said in 2004 that there is no Constitutional right to sexual privacy. (My guess is that the Founding Fathers all considered that idea to be a ‘given’.) The ‘law’ still stands, though the Court did say, pretty much flat-out, that the law was “silly”. Another suit against the law made its way up to the U.S. Supreme Court earlier this year, those clowns declined to hear the case.
Enter one Loretta Nall, former gubernatorial candidate and Internet blogger. Ms. Nall has organized a “Sex Toys for Troy King” drive, encouraging folks to send sex toys to Attorney General Troy King’s office in Montgomery, AL.
The Bull loves this idea! 
I’ve got no use for Ms. Nall’s drug policy, but on this point we’re eye-to-eye.
The Attorney General had this to say, (through a spokesman, of course): “We have 105 members of the House and 35 members of the Senate. I would suggest (Nall) buy 140 items and send them to the (members of the) Legislature.”
I love this idea as well!
On Tuesday Ms. Nall said that prosecuting store owners is both a violation of privacy and a waste of time. “It’s absolutely outrageous an attorney general would squander our tax dollars and barge into our bedrooms and tell us what we can and cannot do in Alabama,” she said. “We have real crime in Alabama.”
In Jefferson County a local judge declined to close a sex toys store in north Alabama’s town of Hoover, (I’ll leave this joke opening alone…), earlier this month, saying the law’s vagueness on what constitutes “adults-only enterprises” means the city can’t close the shop.
Brian Lyman, writing for the Mobile Press-Register, reports the following:
The attorney general has not made a decision on whether to push for the change to the language, Bence said. King will soon start meeting with law enforcement officials to determine his legislative agenda, and Bence said strengthening anti-obscenity language in the law will be on the agenda if a majority of police say they want it.
The initial 1998 lawsuit was brought by the American Civil Liberties Union, two store owners and four women who said they needed the devices for medical purposes.
Store owners have said they would invoke the law’s medical exception to continue selling the items. Nall, however, said it shouldn’t come to that.
“Maybe next time you’ll have to show a note from the doctor that you have to buy that,” she said. “I think it’s ridiculous to have to give a reason to purchase something like that if we’re over 18 years old.”
You have a fine point there, Ms. Nall! The Bull agrees completely, (even though I hate to be on the same side as the ACLU). With all of the real crime in this State, hell – in this Country, you would think that the State could find better uses for its limited resources than coming between adults and their harmless toys. If you agree and wish to join Free Americans in making a point, send the sex toy of your choice to Alabama’s Attorney General at:
Office of the Attorney General
Alabama State House
11 South Union Street, Third Floor
Montgomery, AL 36130
One final note:
According to Ms. Nall, the attorney general’s office should be receiving an inflatable pig via the mail by the end of this week. 
Bull, out! 
